At the Heart of It...
Life is filled with experiences that stirs different kinds of emotions in people. There are experiences which make one happy and excited; while there are certain experiences that leave you overwhelmed, hurt, vulnerable and exposed. Everyone enjoys the good experiences, but how do you deal with those setbacks? The quality or the ability people have and develop to handle problems/emergencies/grievances is known as Resilience.
The ability to keep your cool and think rationally in the face of a problem(small or magnanimous like loss of a job, unable to fulfil your dreams, illness, natural disasters, death of a loved one) is known as resilience. Some people are inborn with this capability where as a lot of people develop it over time. Being resilient allows you to face a problem keeping your strengths in mind and being present in the moment.
Awareness: It is easy to say develop awareness of your surroundings and be in the moment. At the point of crisis, everything is a blur to be able to get a handle over your emotions, scattered thoughts, logic and the facts of the situation. It is still one of the most important attributes to be resilient. Being aware of your emotions in various situations takes you one step forward. The more practice you give yourself, your awareness levels will definitely improve and as a bonus you are increasing your coolness levels.
Tip: Every day, pick five instances as they are happening to you and just make a mental note about how you feel about the situation. (For example, if you are attending a work meeting, how do you feel about the meeting?)
Pumping Positivity: Positivity is an essential life enhancer. When you are feeling upbeat, positive and enthusiastic it automatically becomes easier to face any kind of situation. Resilient people can see a positive side even in the face of negativity where as a not-so-resilient person will bring himself/herself down in such a situation and feel even more horrible.
Tip: There is always a silver lining. Look for the silver lining in each situation. Think of the one positive thing that came out of the situation and appreciate it.
Hang onto Humour: Adding a bit of humour to any kind of situation makes it bearable or even happy. During a vulnerable situation there is a tendency to become quite serious. The moment you create the situation as your play area or make it light, it does not seem so intimidating.
Tip: On a daily basis, spend some time reading comics, watching comedy and create play/fun time for yourself.
Live to Learn: There needs to be a sense of openness to believe that this is just an experience and it can add some value to life rather than just destroying your life. Resilient people have the mindset to take a learning from each situation which makes them well prepared for the next one and at the same time learning something new to make life enriching. People who crib and complain can never see the learning or value in a situation. They make themselves the victim.
Tip: On a daily basis, pick any small/big incident and ask yourself "What did this teach me?", "What solution can I create?". These two questions will take your focus away from the problem and take you forward to the next step.
Being able to ask for Support: There is a tendency that a lot of people believe that it has to be either their way or the high way. It is not really required. Resilient people look at collaborating and asking for support. Resilient people choose to create a team and work together. Not-so-resilient people become rigid and hold onto things.
Tip: On a daily basis connect with people and see how a common task can be worked out together. In the long term this will build your skill to look out for support when you really require it.
By being a not-so-resilient person, you choose to let situations consume you and control you which impacts your health, clarity of thought and emotional well being. Resilient people are forward thinkers who look at a bigger picture rather than getting caught in the daily drama. Building this quality can take time, these tips being done on a daily basis will establish the trait well in advance before you need to face a problem.
Building this quality will never let you look at a problem/travesty/ emergency in the same way again because you may never see a problem; you will only see an opportunity.